I want you to see the pieces that you’ve been missing from every single diet you’ve ever been on.
Where closing your eyes and begging and pleading with the universe to make the urge go away is always ineffective. But…
… it’s not your only option in those moments. Resisting the urge by applying willpower only lasts so long. You know this; it doesn’t work long-term. If it did, then you wouldn’t be here. I want to show you how to get to a place where you feel completely trusting and completely calm with whatever you are deciding to eat.
Your urges to overeat can end
In our time together, you’ll understand why urges are so demanding, so compelling and so urgent. You’ll also understand exactly what you need to change in order to lose weight, but more importantly, how to make changes the only way that makes results last. You’re going to learn how to shift your focus so that you’re more focused on what you’ll achieve and benefit from rather than what you’re saying “No” to.
I have several tools that are meant to help you begin undoing your urges. I’ve created these tools, such as the Undoing Urges Starter Guide, for you to keep and always have. They’re for you and you can use them and trust them to help you as you move forward.
I want to help get you in the right frame of mind when you’re learning how to undo your urges to overeat. What you are going to learn is going to be such a profoundly different way of thinking for you, not just about urges, but about your desires, your avoidance desires, and about food. Your mindset is the key to solving everything, so it’s important that we start there.
With any change you want to make, the very first thing you need to do is make a commitment. Be willing to commit. I’m not talking about committing to a few of these articles… that’s like applying willpower Monday through Friday and then giving in to all the urges over the weekend, which you’ve probably done before like I used to do, almost like clockwork. I want you to commit to reading everything I share because of the immense value you’ll get from all of it, but I want you to know what you’re actually committing to.
You are doing this for YOU.
I know you hear that all the time with all the self-care tips everyone puts out online these days, but this work is more than just a warm bubble bath and sleeping in on Sundays.
Committing to this is so that you show up for yourself like you haven’t before. Where you’re going to engage with the work, listen to what I’m teaching you, and participate in the exercises and questions I provide. You don’t have to share anything with me, or you can share everything with me—I am here FOR YOU. I made all of this to help you and if you need more help than what you choose to read, then I will be here. This is for you because you’re just done with letting urges get the best of you and feeling like you’re not letting your own voice be heard.
I want to make this clear… Your commitment to losing weight in 100% intact. You’re thinking about your weight loss, your commitment, how to not give into your urges, your preparation, your willpower… ALL OF THE TIME. You know that if urges weren’t a problem, then your goal would be as good as done. One can only get to this level of clarity because of their commitment.
There is no doubt you are committed to finding the way that works for you. What I am asking you to do here is commit to curiosity, commit to shifting your perspective even when it feels a little scary and unfamiliar at first. When you are committed, you’ll take these tools and use them, like taking a brand-new car out for a test drive. See how you feel and commit to experiencing something new that could be one of the best things for your life. Your commitment to looking at new pieces of information like this is so crucial.
Do not beat yourself up
Now, when I am coaching my clients, I never tell them how they should be feeling. It’s so important for them to find their solution on their own but while I’m holding space for them to feel safe while they do so.
There is one thing I do tell them to NOT do, and that is beat themselves up. And I’m going to tell you the same.
Do not beat yourself up.
Stop doing it now and undo that impulse to sabotage your progress mentally.
When you beat yourself up, you bring up shame and defeat. When you’re feeling ashamed or defeated, you stop showing up. You either do nothing, or you give up, or you distract yourself and, therefore, you never reach your goal. In fact, the more you beat yourself up, the more you will feel the urge to stay stuck. As Brené Brown said, “You can have courage or you can have comfort. You can’t have both.”
If you’re like me, then it’s probably habitual for you to beat yourself up. Part of this work is going to be a big shift for you. Instead of doing this work and feeling an urge, eating, and then giving up, instead… I want you to consider giving yourself the gift of thinking, “You know what? I’m learning and trying something I’ve never done before but have known I needed to because my goals are important. They matter. I’m looking at how I’m doing things in a different way, and I’m willing to try no matter what.”
You are going to keep experiencing urges, and at some points you may give in to some of them, or many of them, or all of them. Don’t let that be the reason you give up or stop. Just refocus on the work here and what I share with you and you’ll be right back on track.
The secret to the progress you want is not to beat yourself up after having given in to an urge. The secret is in looking at what happened as data, as very useful information, and understanding that data to learn from and to make progress.
But beating yourself up easily invites shame, and when you’re feeling that way, you most likely don’t take action forward and then reuse difficult emotions, like disappointment, guilt, shame, and anxiety, to push through the next urge. You’re just using the same variables in the equation and getting the same result.
But if you look at one variable in the equation that didn’t work, and you understand why it didn’t work, then you can choose to switch it out for another one and get a completely different answer.
Everything I share with you is information you’ve always needed to help you go on your final weight loss journey. You’ll be undoing urges to overeat that have sabotaged your progress for years, and that’s why what you read here is so important. You’ll be thinking differently, you’ll be experiencing urges differently, you’ll be taking different actions… and if you go through it all, you’re going to be looking at your urges and at food completely differently than you were before.
But we did something important today, and that was to get you in the right mindset for change, where you’re fully committed to be curious about the data and able and willing to engage in things and apply what you learn.
I’ll be back with another article, and I want you to remember that I am here for you every single step of the way. These tools and this information are going to change everything for you. I believe in your dreams and goals because I know they matter to you.