Understanding Overeating

"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."

Nelson Mandela

Last week, I went into depth about “over-hunger,” what it is, and how to understand it (it was a Facebook Live episode called “The Problem of Over-hunger“).  It was the first of three episodes where I’m going deeper into revealing how over-hunger and over-desire are exactly what lead to overeating (which leads to weight gain) and how to solve for them.  So, let’s get right back to understanding what’s going on in our body and what tools you can use to start helping yourself end your overeating.

Last week, we talked about the Hunger Scale and the Four Types of Eating.  The Hunger Scale is so essential to understand what your specific body needs for fuel and when.  Believe me, I had the HARDEST TIME thinking my body had a diet of its own that it preferred because I was so scared that, if I paid attention to what my body needed, then my urges and cravings would get too strong and they would override physical, legitimate hunger.  But when I went on the Hunger Scale, I realized some key things:

1.) Some of the foods I was eating that were on the diet I was following were not kind to my body.  They caused bloat and discomfort but I ate those foods because that’s what the diet said I should eat.  Of course, I learned that no one can make me eat anything, just like no one can make you eat anything, and taking responsibility for thoughts like that was an important first step.

2.) I wasn’t hungry all day, so my worry about eating all the time and having urges 24/7 were not real.

Here’s the most fun thing I learned about myself when I started eating based on my hunger scale.  I really like breakfast, I nibble on things like apples throughout “lunch” time, and then I love a warm dinner salad with a colorful variety of veggies, lean meat, and fun fats like avocado and dressings or, my favorite, soups or stews packed with vegetables and color.  The thing is… This is EXACTLY how my MOTHER EATS!  I didn’t make the connection until about a few weeks into eating normally.  I love that I share this eating trait with my mother, I felt like it brought us closer even though I actually haven’t told her this yet.  I’m going to be spending some time with her this fall in her log cabin in Utah and I think we’re going to have some of the best times we’ve ever had together.  We’ll wake up, feed the dog, share a great breakfast and wake up with coffee, working in the garden and finishing up projects she has going on throughout the day, and then making a delicious dinner and going to bed and doing it all over again the next day.  Having days like that with my mother will be some of my most cherished memories.

Before, if I was still following a diet, then I would have spent my day in a mood, thinking about when the next time to eat was, why I couldn’t just eat something right now, why I had to eat more protein than carbs or fats, and so on and so on… that diet and food chatter that consumes so much mental energy.  Now, my mental energy goes towards creating amazing memories and soaking up the sound of my mom’s laugh and remembering how good she is at choosing the right words to describe the abundant animal and plant life that abounds around her cabin.  All of that tastes better and feels better than any food or any amount of food.

So, the hunger scale… I highly encourage you to use it for yourself and see the lessons that can be learned from the successes you get.


Let the Hunger Scale Introduce How to Manage Your Feelings

Here’s another important thing you learn while applying the hunger scale… You learn to manage your feelings because when you start understanding your hunger and not eating when you’re not hungry, then you’re left with urges, and that is the hardest work but also the most important, not just for learning how to solve for over-hunger but how to stop overeating.

The way to stop overeating is to develop the skill-set of allowing urges without reacting, avoiding or responding to them and just letting them be there.  We are taught to always give in to urges and to avoid them because then we become someone we’re not, which is extremely untrue.

Learning how to cope with all of your emotions, not just allowing urges, is what keeps the weight off because it means no emotion will surprise you – you’ll trust yourself and know how to handle yourself when something, anything, comes up unexpectedly.  Urges are amazing because they are just signals that are asking you – urgently – to go back to doing things that you’re familiar with, like nibbling when you’re bored or popping a few M&Ms into your mouth when you’re nervous.  You feel urges in other areas of your life, like giving in to the urge of avoiding checking your savings account so you don’t feel scared or irresponsible about how much you do or don’t have, or giving in to the urge of avoiding and putting off having an awkward discussion with your husband, or the urge to procrastinate or be lazy. That’s what I love about working with weight loss, specifically, because I learned and now help my clients focus on their dreams of the ideal weight they want and the activities and things they’ll be doing with that new body.  Handling their urges around food makes it so much easier to notice and understand urges when they come up elsewhere and how to manage their way through them.  By learning how to do this, they stay on track towards that dream, hence making it more possible and gaining more confidence the more they allow their emotions.



I like to add exercise with my clients because we have to in order to pass our fitness tests.  But I never tell them to use exercise as a way to lose weight.  I encourage only exercise that is fun and it’s movement they want to do.  There is joy in moving our body, and we’ll be more encouraged to do it if we love how we feel, so I encourage exercise that puts a smile on their face because you can begin to teach yourself to wear that smile and enjoy the movements no matter what kind of exercising you’re doing.

Some of my clients are resistant to working out because it doesn’t bring them joy, but I tell them that the joy doesn’t come from the workout or the lack of the workout – it comes from what you’re thinking about the workout.  And when you compare your workout and tell yourself that you didn’t do enough, then you keep removing joy you could be feeling.

I always recommend a minimum baseline, or the minimum that they want and desire to do so that they start looking forward to it later.  It’s the same process for the fitness tests.  I’m going to do an entire episode on how to re-frame your thinking around the fitness test so that you aren’t resenting it and are, instead, being curious about it and the possibilities it affords you.  So many men and women resent their time serving in the military because of the fitness tests, yet miss having the accountability and structure when they get out because suddenly, they’re gaining weight.  It all comes down to how you’re choosing to think about the tests and you are allowed to think about them with interest and possibility rather than with resentment or disdain.  By thinking of them with a more positive approach, then the chances of you actually preparing for them and PASSING them are much more likely and, eventually, they stop being a problem for you because they’re just a normal part of your work, like wearing a cover outdoors or saluting higher ranking officers.  It’s just what you do, no drama or mental chatter/justification about it.


Judging Your Past Negatively is Negative Self-Talk

The most important tool I teach when learning how to solve for over-hunger and over-desire is that you must stop judging yourself.  This work can take a while for some, and I’ve noticed it’s especially hard to overcome in the military because we’re always comparing ourselves.

Not only is comparison the thief of joy, but when you are comparing yourself to, say, people who have landed on grenades to save the lives of 10 people, how can you ever win?  You are comparing yourself to dead people and saying you’re not good enough, which is a belief that can trickle down into our work, into our families, into our mental health, into our own personal development, and of course into our weight.

We feel terrible when we think we’re not good enough and we see evidence for it all around us in traditions, in sea stories, in history lessons, in current casualties, in statistics and reports.  Now, the problem isn’t that traditions exist and that casualties are a reality of life, not just in the military.  It’s when we think about how not good enough we are by comparing ourselves to them is where the problem is.  I plan on doing an entire episode just on traditions because they fascinate me, but traditions are simply other people’s past and they serve as lessons or information that we can use to help us understand what we’re currently doing or facing.  That’s all.  But using traditions to define what you do and if you’re good enough, is not the point to traditions, in my opinion.  You have to stop judging yourself and, at the same time, take responsibility for your thoughts, for your feelings, and for your actions because that’s the only way you’re going to create the results you want in your life – while you’re serving our country and after when you get out and begin a new chapter in your life.

So, here’s a question I ask of you because it’s one that I asked myself many times when I decided to take full control of my weight and my life.

What’s the point of using all of these tools, especially when it takes so much effort to make a change?  Is this discomfort worth the result you want?  That’s one of the best questions you can ask yourself with anything you’re doing.  Really pay attention to the answer, too.

For me, when I thought about the fact that I could still be bingeing in one year, I almost punched myself in the face.  I was going to be so mad at myself if I was still bingeing a year later because I was in so much pain now that it was hard for me to imagine being in even more pain, but I knew it was a real possibility if I didn’t decide to do something about it now.  Actually, to me, what was worse than more pain was giving up and accepting my current pain as a normal state of being.  So, I decided to change.  I showed up, did the work, and now I’m free from bingeing and overeating and I’m living life thinking about how to serve my military clients and you instead of constantly worrying about how I would feel with or without food.  I am living the life I have wished and prayed about for years.

It starts with literally changing your mind.  It’s hard, otherwise everyone would be living their dream life and no one would have any problems, right?

Change the neural pathway in your head.  Start telling your brain what to think rather than your brain telling you to repeat what it knows how to do.

Until next week, ladies… BE the leader you want to become.  BELIEVE it!

If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be coached by a woman who’s been in your military shoes and suffered from weight pain (overweight or at normal weight but still not thinking I was good enough – or a good enough leader), then let’s schedule a time to talk.  Weight pain can be debilitating in more areas than just our physical body, so overcoming it can open up freedom in other areas of your life that you didn’t even know were being affected by the constant calculations, negotiations and judgments that go on in your head about food and your behaviors around food.  CLICK HERE to schedule a call with me so that I can hear what you are going through and how I can help you get out of it.  I can’t wait to talk with you and hear your story.

Stressed About the Upcoming Physical Fitness Test

Hi everyone,

I hope you’re all doing well but I mostly hope you’re
staying DRY, especially if you’re in TN.

For some reason, it rains cats and dogs in TN over the
winter.  It’s almost unreal because I now
have two rivers in my yard where there used to be only a small creek. 

My dog, Maui, however, is all about the water –
sometimes.  If you follow me on FB or IG,
you’ll notice that I am seriously in love with how sweet and beautiful my puppy
is.  He’s now a year old, so he’s a
rather large puppy, but he’s my baby and I still notice those puppy tendencies
that I hope stay with him forever. 
Anyway, he has a love-hate relationship with the rain, just like me, and
part of me thinks he’s part cat because he HATES being in the rain.  He’s an outdoor dog, which is great because
we have an acre of yard and he can run and sniff and dig to his heart’s
content.  But when it rains, he just sits
on our porch and looks at us through the glass doors with such disdain and
misery; like his look is worse than any look a cat would give you if it’s
outside in the rain.  I’ll post a picture
of it later because you can feel just how much he hates being wet and in the
rain, it literally oozes out of his eyes. 
But then he gets over it and runs over to the puddles and raging creek
we now have in our yard and he starts to dig in them.  Like, he’s digging a hole in them.  He’s so strange sometimes, but always cute.

Anyway, today I wanted to talk about how many women in the
military who are overweight will probably be feeling stressed and anxious about
something here in the next few weeks, if you aren’t feeling this way

The Physical Fitness Tests are coming up.

In the past, one of my greatest moments of relief were when
I finished my 1.5 mile run in the fall, which meant I didn’t have to think
about the PFA, or the Navy’s Physical Fitness Assessment, for many more
months.  I was free from that stress and
pressure to get a score above “Good.”

But then I’d get an email in the spring titled, “PFA 10 Week
Notice” and my heart would sink.  And
then it would jump high into my throat as my thoughts would start pouring in
about whether or not I would make weight,

that I wanted this to finally be my best PFA ever,

that I would train for it, but how was I going to find the
time to train,

I haven’t trained all winter AND I gained weight,

so now I have to eat better to lose the weight,

which is going to make training and running harder on less
calories, ugh! 

These next 10 weeks area going to suck so much and I’m just
going to be miserable… I hate feeling this way about the PFA…

So, in the past, I started eating less, working out more, I
lost enough weight to pass the weigh-ins without getting “roped and choked,” or
having our waist, chest, neck, and thighs measured to see if we were above the
calculated body weight standards.  It was
always so embarrassing for me to have to stand in that second line… the one for
the people who were overweight and had to pass the last and final piece of the
weigh ins, which meant being measured. 
Emotions were all over the place for me in that line because if I didn’t
pass the estimated measurements I was supposed to be at, it meant I technically
“failed” a portion of my PFA, which would lead to reprimand and a negative mark
on my FITREP, or Fitness Report or our evaluation report. 

It would also mean that I was a negligent officer, one who
lacked discipline and self-control, a failure to her subordinates and an ugly
stain on the readiness of her command. 

Worse yet, I made it mean that I was a failure as a
person.  That I couldn’t control myself
around food, which was the only reason I was standing in that line anyway. 

So, I told myself that if food had been so hard to control,
then the only thing I could control was my score on the test.  So I trained and trained and did sit ups
before going to bed at night but I would still eat more because I was actually
hungrier and I justified needing the extra energy.  I did get stronger and faster, so I was able
to pass the PRT, but my weight stayed the same. 
But I never cared about my weight while I doing the actual test.  I just wanted to prove that, even if I was
overweight and had to be measured, that I could pass the actual test with a
favorable score.  I always killed myself
during the test through sheer will power and fear.  That’s why I felt so relieved at the end of
it – because I no longer had that enormous pressure on my back.

I have completed DOZENS of PFAs with this method: fear,
denial, sabotage with food and overtraining, and then will power.  I always got a good enough score, so in my
mind, this method worked.  But I hated
it.  I hated it, really, because it made
me think that I always needed to prove myself because I was inadequate.  So I would overtrain and overeat, resulting
in pushing myself to unrealistic and unsustainable expectations just to prove
myself to others.  I did this twice a
year for nearly a decade.  Over time,
this way of thinking and approach to the PFA spilled into other areas of my job
and I resented the Navy, I resented nearly everything about the Navy.  By the time I changed my way of thinking to
where I truly enjoyed being a Naval Officer and saw all that the Navy had to
offer, it was too late because I had already submitted my separation
paperwork.  But now I’m in the Reserves
and I’m charging forward with my mindset because it feels so much better and
fulfilling than the way I felt before.

Ok, so I just went on a little tangent there, but I want you
to see how much our beliefs can permeate other areas of our life, but it
doesn’t have to be that way.  And it can
start with how you want to think and feel about your upcoming fitness test.

I remember taking a PFA one day with such ease and comfort
that one of my coworkers told me later that he just looked at me and thought,
“Man, I wish it was that effortless for me, too.  This doesn’t even bother her.”

He was saying that he wished he didn’t feel stressed or
nervous about the PFA.  Men go through
the same emotions we women do if they have certain thoughts about insecurities
or inadequacies when it comes to their performance and their weight, same as we
do.  When he told me that, I smiled such
a wide smile of pride for myself because I had reached a place I had always
wanted to be when it comes to the PFA: stress-free.

How did I get here?

Is it really possible to take the PFA stress-free when there
seems to be so much on the line if we fail? 
Our evaluations, our reputation, our self-esteem?  What’s going to happen to all of that if we

But if you think about it, the worst that can happen is
literally a feeling.  That’s always the
case with any problem.  So if we fail
weigh-ins, we’ll think that’s horrible and we’ll feel embarrassed and ashamed.

If your FITREP is unfavorable, then you might think you’re
not good enough and you’ll feel defeated or dumb.

If you fail the sit-ups on the PFA, then you might think
they’re impossible to do, so you’ll feel like a loser, unprepared or

If you fail the run portion, then you’ll think about how you
let yourself get so out of shape, so you’ll feel irresponsible and guilty.

These feelings don’t feel good because when we’re
experiencing them, we find more and more evidence around us throughout our day
and our history to prove our inadequacies and our failures.  Then, the more we do this, the more we believe we’re not good enough.  So, we turn to food to feel better, or we beat
ourselves up or overtrain at the gym and go on harsh and unrealistic diets in
order to punish ourselves.  No pain, no
gain, right?  The outcome of actions like
these will always prove what we’re thinking in a way…. I’ll only be good enough
if I do things that are deemed good enough, like overtraining or undereating to
pass a fitness test.

Now, I’m not saying that this is always the case with our
fitness tests.  But if this is how you
find yourself approaching this spring’s upcoming fitness test, then let this be
an opportunity to think differently about it and try an approach that will feel
better and stress-free.  Because you have
that ability and that control.

Ask yourself this: What does a stress-free physical fitness
test actually mean?

It might mean that you reach a certain score, like Good or
Excellent, or that you complete a minimum of 32 pushups, 76 situps, and a 13
min 1.5mi run.  All you have to do is get
stronger at three things: 32 pushups, 76 situps, and running a mile and a half
in 13 min.  Knowing that by completing
these three things, you know without a doubt that you will score either a Good
or Excellent on your test.  That feels
pretty good.  That feels pretty
doable.  In fact, more than doable.  You now have a plan and a guaranteed result.
You know that those exact numbers of pushpups, situps and run time will create
a Good or Excellent score for you, which means you’ll end up with a favorable
evaluation report, and more importantly, confidence and self-respect.  And as a bonus, some head nods and smiles
from your peers because they saw that you reached your goal. 

Our feelings will always drive us to act in certain
ways.  Remember when you felt panicked
and stressed from that email stating you’re “10 weeks away from the PFA?”  What did you do after you read that and felt
that panic?  You probably started
overthinking and then distracted yourself from your current work, whatever you
were doing, and starting planning on how you were going to force your way
through the next 10 weeks just to survive and be done with the PFA. 

But now, knowing that all you have to do is complete 32
pushups, 76 sit-ups and a 13 mile run to get a Good or Excellent in your PFA –
you KNOW this will be your desired result – what feeling do you think gets you
to plan for and train to complete only 32 pushups, 76 sit-ups and a 13 mile
run?  For me, “assured” is how I feel
when I start planning for how many days a week I’ll train for 32 pushups, 76
sit-ups and a 13 minute mile and a half run. 
I feel so assured, so secure in my plan, like “it’s in the bag, it’s
going to happen, this is all I have to do and I can do it.” 

Then, I plan to run a PFA three times a week: mon, wed,
fri.  I do this for 10 weeks so that my
muscles get used to the movements and gain strength, and come time for the PFA,
I’ve already completed my winning formula with confidence and assurance, that I
complete the 32 pushups, 76 sit-ups and a 13 min run WITHOUT STRESS.  I’ve already done it, so why stress?  I know what the results is going to be, so I
just do it. 

So if feeling assured and confident got me to take action
and plan out my training, which resulted in a Good or Excellent PFA, what was I
thinking that got me to do all of this? 

As I’ve taught before in previous FB lives, every single feeling
we have is created by a single thought. 
Every time.  So when I was feeling
assured, I was thinking this:

“This is all I have to
do and I can do it because it will result in what I want.”

When you think that and pay attention to the feeling that
comes up for you, it most likely isn’t stress, it isn’t overwhelm, nor is it
fear…  That single thought will produce a
feeling that will inspire you to take action and plan for completing 32
pushups, 76 sit-ups and a 13 min run.

Your thoughts hold all of your power.  You can choose to think about your upcoming
fitness test however you want.  The more
inspiring and creative you feel, trace that feeling back to the thought that’s
creating it.  When you find it, hold on
to it and repeat it every day.  Stick to
the plan you’ve designed for yourself and you’ll notice yourself not only
getting physically stronger over the next several weeks, but you’ll also notice
your confidence growing.  Your respect
for your abilities and your willingness to stick to something to get a result
that you care about will build on itself. 

You CAN do this.  You
CAN have a stress-free fitness test.  Use
an approach that serve you best to get the outcome that you want, and it all
starts with what you choose to think about your fitness test.

If you want to talk more about this, then please email me
because I would LOVE to know what will inspire you to train for the PFA, PFT,
AFPT, whichever branch of service you’re in. 
We all have fitness tests coming up, so start thinking about how you
want to feel and behave when it comes to the results you want for
yourself.  Good luck and let me know how
you did!   You might actually enjoy this
fitness test – wouldn’t that be something?”

Watch Bills & Weight Loss

Good morning ladies!

The weekend is nearly here and there is so much we can do to stay on track. If you’re on a weight loss journey, then keep reading. In fact, this note in particular will cover what I spoke about at my FB Live from Tuesday this week, which you can find here:

THIS IS HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT & KEEP IT OFF ~ Episode #2 ~ Weight Loss for Military Women

When it comes to weight loss or to the watchbill or to your upcoming advancement exam or whatever… what are you feeling about them? What feelings come up when you look at the diet you printed out? .When you can name that feeling, then you can ask yourself what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always, always, ALWAYS create your feelings. Facts in life never create your feelings. Your thoughts about circumstances do. Every time. So ask yourself what you’re feeling and then you’ll find out what you’re thinking about your diet. .If you're feeling deprived, then why? It's not your diet making you feel that way, it's what you're making the entire diet mean to you…

Posted by Nicole Terwey Coaching on Tuesday, January 8, 2019

I introduce myself a bit more so that you can get to know why I’m doing what I’m doing and my desire for pursuing this work and helping you, my military sisters, with your weight loss efforts. I’ll also talk about why it’s not your diet or anything else that is causing you to feel like you can’t lose the weight.

I got out of the Navy and started this business to help military women lose weight and keep it off so that you would never have to worry about it again, not when you’re standing watch and worrying about other countries wanting to impose chaos and harm on us. Our weight shouldn’t be distracting us from not only our work, but our life outside of work, and our weight and food shouldn’t be a source of stress in our life.

And it doesn’t have to be.

That is what I teach and what I aim to resolve for all of my military sisters. And these women include those who are still in active duty and deployed or at home, those who are in the National Guard/Retired/Reserves (like me) and military spouses because, let’s be honest, you are basically in the military if you’re a spouse – you just don’t wear a uniform or perform your husband’s or wife’s specific job, but you still live the lifestyle.

I’m going to be doing FB Lives every week, mostly on Tuesdays unless I’m physically unable to, and I’ll get into the reason why we’re overeating and what to do about it in the military – on and off duty, when you’re in uniform and when you’re not.

So, why ARE we overweight? We’re overweight because we keep overeating. When we stop overeating and we eat only what our body needs, then our body will go down to its natural weight, which is a lot less than we allow ourselves to think.

Now, my work focuses heavily on the most important piece to weight loss: the mental plan. We never go on a diet until we DECIDE to, which is a choice that came from our brain. In fact, everything in our life has been created because of a choice we’ve made. It really all comes down to the thoughts we have and what we think about the circumstances in our life. And this is where a huge distinction must be made in order for you to understand why it’s not the diet or anyone else that is reason why you’re overweight and where you can gain the power and knowledge you need in order to create what you truly want in life for yourself.

We tend to blame the diet we’re on as the reason we’re overweight or that we’re no longer losing weight. Or, if you’re like me, you blamed the Navy for making you move and making you stand watch and making you drill and making you put on steel toe boots when you’re tired and sore. When I was at PACOM JIOC in Pearl Harbor, I would see the watch bill from when I was standing watch for a year and I was nearly always on watch during a major holiday. I was on a diet then, of course, so I would blame the diet for not being easier because, when I’d get home I would snack on food that was off my nutrition plan because I was so angry that I was going to miss Independence Day with my husband and friends. Don’t forget, this was also the first time my husband were living together, so I was so upset that I was going to miss a holiday with him after we had missed dozens of holidays together before because the majority of our courtship had been apart and long distance. But I was HOME with him now and STILL missing out on fun events like holidays! It just wasn’t fair! Bring on the jar pf peanut butter and a spoon, but a small spoon, I don’t want to go overboard…

I blamed the diet for being too hard to follow and then I blamed the Navy for contributing an unhappy marriage because of my watch schedule. I was gaining weight and I was always feeling out of control because I was trying to control things that I simply could not control. I was soon introduced to Life Coaching and the model I now teach and then my life changed forever. I am much happier now.

The first thing I learned was that there will always be circumstances in my life that I cannot control. Trying to control circumstances is like trying to grab a handful of fire – it’s impossible and you’re left burned and wasting time nursing your wounds back to health. But I kept doing this over and over and, eventually, I foresaw depression in my future because all I could see what me getting burned every time I tried to preempt or control certain things.

A circumstance is something in our life that is simply a fact and completely neutral. Something everyone can agree on and that cannot be changed. I like to tell my clients that the weather is a circumstance in our life. You can’t control the temperature outside. Other people and our past are also circumstances in our life. What someone said, either to you or about you or about themselves, is another circumstance – everyone heard what they said and it’s done.

Our diet, which is that piece of paper we printed out or the email we got from a fitness website or whatever, is simply a piece of information. It’s words that are printed in a list or subjects with different foods listed. The watch bill that I would get every month was also a circumstance in my life. It was just a piece of paper with my name on it under certain days of the week. I would get angry at that watch bill EVERY single time, so I attributed the watch bill (and its coordinator, lol) as a source or pain. Same with the diet I would print out every month – it always left me feeling deprived and unhappy. But it’s never, ever the circumstances in your life that make you feel anything. It’s always, 100% every time, your THOUGHTS about each circumstance that determines how you will feel.

And everything we do in life is based on how we think it’s going to make us feel.

There is science to back this up, not to mention every experience we’ve had growing up that got us to where we are today.

Circumstances, like the weather, are the same for everyone. What each person thinks about the circumstance, however, is where things change. For example, I think the 49 degree weather outside is cold, but to someone else say, from Alaska, they think that temperature is warm. Same temperature, 49 degrees, but our thoughts, or opinions, are different.

My diet, for example, may have been the same for someone else who printed it out, but whereas I thought the diet left me feeling deprived and unhappy, another person could have thought something completely differently. They might have been beyond happy to get chicken, rice and broccoli because they absolutely love chicken. Someone on my watch team would not have felt anger or resentment towards the watch bill because they like having a set schedule no matter what the schedule looks like.

You see, we always have an opinion on the circumstances in our life. And the most important thing to realize is that our thoughts are completely optional. They are our own thoughts and we can think whatever we want. Especially because our thoughts always determine how we will feel. How YOU will feel, not anyone else. We all have our own thoughts that create our own feelings. A thought begins in our brain and a rush of chemicals is created that courses through our body. We experience those chemicals as FEELINGS. That’s how we experience every single moment in our LIFE. When we feel cold because it’s 49 degrees outside, our brain thinks it’s “cold” and all our memories and recognition of what we made cold mean to us in the past course through our body and makes us shiver. Our skin gathers into goosebumps, a rush of cold brushes our scalp, and we grit our teeth. At least, that’s how I feel and experience “cold.”

So, when it comes to weight loss or to the watch bill or to your upcoming advancement exam or whatever… what are you feeling about them? What feelings come up when you look at the diet you printed out? When you can name that feeling, then you can ask yourself what you’re thinking. Your thoughts will always, always, ALWAYS create your feelings. Facts in life never create your feelings. Your thoughts about circumstances do. Every time. So ask yourself what you’re feeling and then you’ll find out what you’re thinking about your diet. If you’re not feeling good because you have negative thoughts about your diet, then ask yourself why. That is such an important question to always ask ourselves. Ask yourself why you’re feeling deprived or angry when you think about your diet. Then, ask yourself how you want to feel. If you want to feel comfortable, content, and satiated, for example, then you can ask yourself that you would have to think in order to feel that way. That’s the secret. Knowing you have the power at any time and at all times to choose how you want to think and, therefore, feel about anything in your life.

I used to feel so deprived from my thoughts about my diet. Deprivation felt so terrible and hollow inside me that I would binge to the point of physical pain in order to “fill” that emptiness I felt. When I realized that I could view my diet as something other than a “fun-killer,” my feelings and actions began to change. I would look at my printed out diet plan and I would ask myself what I really want to think of it instead. Why did I go on this diet in the first place? What can I create for myself if I see this all the way through? How do I want to feel about the changes I want to make?

Ask yourself good questions and remember that you can think anything you want. That is your right as a human being on this planet. You don’t have to stay stuck in recycled thoughts that aren’t getting you the results you want. Change your thoughts so that you’ll feel differently. This will begin to make a huge difference for you when you see how much power you have in your own life.

The focus behind my work is to get you to your natural body weight by eating only what your body needs. But I don’t give you a nutrition or workout plan because you need to know what your body needs specifically. There’s only one way to do that, and that is by eating clean foods and knowing how to work through the emotions and thoughts that come up when you want to eat something that won’t help your weight loss. That’s where I come in. It will never matter what diet you go on if you don’t know how to manage your thoughts and emotions. Learning how to manage your thoughts and emotions now is the way to ensure you don’t diet for the rest of your life. It can be done. You can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to decide and commit and know that you’ll be perfectly OK.

Believe that you can do amazing things for yourself and your weight. I know you can.

~ Nicole

📩 Contact me for more information on:

Weight Loss for Military Women

Life After The Diet

Life Coaching


How to Stop Overeating

There are two reasons why we overeat:



In order to stop overeating, then you have to stop eating more than your body needs for fuel.

That’s it.

So how do you know what “food fuel” actually is? And how do you avoid feeling disdainful when you see “food as fuel” and think that you have to remove enjoyment from food? We all have a pretty good idea what kinds of food our body needs in order to keep us alive, help us move well, help us think, eat, breathe, digest, and laugh. We’ve eaten these foods for years – proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vegetables, and chocolate. I’m kidding about chocolate, but for some it might as well be its own food group.

True story: When I was still dating my husband, I used to buy a large Hershey almond bar every weekend I drove to visit him when we were both stationed in Washington State. I thought I “needed” energy to help me finish the drive, and sugar and chocolate would keep me awake. I did this nearly twice a weekend for three weekends every month. No wonder I steadily gained weight over the months and years, among my other stellar food choices that the excitement of dating brings.

Some of these macronutrients (proteins, carbs and fats) have more vitamins, minerals and antioxidants than others, but for the most part, a healthy serving of each of these throughout the day makes our body happy and functioning properly.

But where’s the fun in that? “Functioning properly” doesn’t sound enticing or exciting, especially at weddings, college reunions, family dinners, or a even on a random Thursday night when it’s been a long day at work and ice cream appeals to us as fuel more than some vegetables and protein would.


Eating when you’re hungry is normal. It’s a good sign that your body is running the way it’s supposed to. Eating more than your body needs is where we run into problems. Also, eating less than your body needs is – as in, referring to the extreme in the form of anorexia – can be problematic, but right now I’m discussing eating too much food.

How do you solve for overhunger? Basically, how do you not eat when you’re hungry while trying to lose weight?

#1: You need to have a goal.

#2: You need to have a protocol to follow. A diet plan, a nutrition program, anything that provides you with the nutrients you need in order to reach your goal. You can call it a diet or not, it’s up to you. The most important thing is that it has to be something that you can maintain for life.

Think about it. If you’re trying to lose weight and go on a diet for 8 weeks of eating only sweet potatoes (it’s a real thing, believe it or not), at the end of the 8 weeks, you are not going to maintain the body you worked so hard to get to once you reintroduce other foods into your diet. And you need other food besides sweet potatoes; otherwise your body will become dysfunctional slowly and surely.

#3: You need to stick with it.

Discipline and delayed gratification are part of the process. They are some of the best qualities we can develop when it comes to ANY goal we want to achieve. It can be hard to do when dieting because we need to eat food to survive. You don’t need to finish that college paper no matter how disciplined you are. You really don’t. But applying the discipline and delaying partying with your friends ensured that 1.) The paper was done and 2.) You practiced discipline and learned how to get better at doing hard things.

You also need discipline and a plan when temptations come around the corner and when stresses in life start piling up.

Enter how to solve for Overdesire.


Ultimately, we want to reduce the desire for overeating.

You have a goal and a diet plan. If you follow your program, you will reach your goal.

There is a reason weight loss is called a process. That word does not need to be scary or hard. You are training your body and your brain to eat for function. The body physically understands this and doesn’t care how “tasty” or “delicious” or “soft and moist” a food is. It just needs fuel.

Our brain, on the other hand, is a little harder to train. You have to change the way it USED to think about food while adapting it to a NEW way of viewing food.

Tasty vs. fuel.

Fun vs. fuel.

Grandma’s way vs. fuel

A new way you haven’t practiced before, mind you, so it’s hard to see an end result for something you seem to know nothing about.

You also have to give your brain and body TIME to adapt and change to eating in a way that fulfills your goals. Many, many, many people give up on diets because they don’t see results fast enough. Truth is, they may not have followed their protocol 100% nor did they give their body enough time to physically adjust.

Also, urges and cravings and answering them every time keep us from reaching our goals. The thing is, urges and cravings are feelings – they’re just suggestions to eat. As urgent as they seem, as authoritative as they pretend to be, we don’t have to answer to them.

You know this because you’ve used will power and discipline and delayed gratification before and they’ve worked. But after a while, you cave and give in, and sometimes that submission lasts for a few more days or weeks and, eventually, you’ve completely sabotaged the progress you were making.

Here’s some more truth: NOT giving in to urges is also a process that takes time. It is possible to not answer to an urge, and that is based on what you’re thinking about the urge. Sometimes we overeat as a way of resisting or avoiding it. It’s actually by ALLOWING the urge to pass, allowing the feeling to be felt, where we have the power to make the greatest changes.

A lot of us ignore these feelings and think that it’s our body telling us to eat… That urges are natural, even when spooning almond butter out of the jar seems to be a “normal” way of answering an urge.

Solve for overhunger and overdesire and you’ll reach any goal you set out to reach. Each of these CAN be solved if you’re willing to stay true to the goal you desire to reach.

If you would like to find a way to stay on your food protocol and solve for overdesire and overhunger, then let’s work together and find a way to reach your goal. It is possible, and I can help you get there.

I will teach you the model that will show you how to shape your mind and your body.Email me at ​nicoleterwey@gmail.com and let’s see how we can work together.