The real solution for permanent weight loss is understanding the hardest part: your urges to overeat. Not only are you increasing your awareness of them, but you’re doing the work to understand them and how they’re created and why, which is so important to know.
You understand the effect of food and why it’s not the food that causes urges, it’s your thoughts about food, and in these articles, you have the knowledge and tools to start changing your actions around food. Meaning, you’ll begin to make decisions deliberately rather than be reactive to urges and feeling out of control.
What you have here in these articles is what all the diet programs out there are missing. And you can see why it’s hard to generalize something as personal and unique as undoing your urges around food because we all have our own ways of interpreting what food means to us. Changing a habit like overeating is not easy, but in these pages you’re learning exactly what to do.
What I want to talk to you about today is applying the knowledge you’re gaining—it’s what really makes all the difference. You’ve likely been applying what you’ve been learning from these articles, and you’ve got to continue applying these tools so that you get stronger and more efficient at undoing your urges around food.
All that matters are the results you’re getting
It’s very important to truly understand that no one can make you eat anything you don’t want to. I think this is one of the most significant pieces to understand about permanent weight loss, the piece where you stop judging your situation and stop judging yourself in a situation. And not just criticizing yourself but expanding that and looking at how you may judge dieting, how you may judge others who want to lose weight, how you judge food in general. The only thing that matters in your road to weight loss are the results you’re getting…. Or not getting.
One thing I want to make very clear to you is that dieting is not a bad thing. Nor is it a good thing. It is just a way of eating. That is all the word diet means. You’re not in the right for being “anti-diet” nor are you in the wrong for being “anti-diet.” You can be for diets or not—it just doesn’t matter. How you judge how someone else eats, how you eat, or what a “fad diet” out in the world is designed to help you achieve… don’t let it take up any more cognitive real estate because of the emotional overwhelm that comes with it.
Your opinion of all of that is what makes weight loss either so confusing and frustrating or motivating and empowering.
It’s all based on how you’re viewing it. There is so much about diets being restrictive or depriving or freeing or “the right way to eat”… it makes it all so confusing unless you realize that all that matters, in the end, are the results you’re getting. Do you like the results you’re getting? That is all that matters.
And you want to find this out for yourself because you’ll begin to remove the judgement you have about dieting and how others do things because you’ll begin to notice that what works for you may not work for someone else, and that what works for someone else doesn’t have to work for you. Your results are coming from your own actions based on how you are feeling and are choosing to believe about yourself within a circumstance or situation.
So, you can diet or not. It’s totally up to you and that’s neither a good thing or a bad thing. It’s YOUR thing because it will create YOUR results.
And I really want you to remember that your urges around food are not impossible to undo. They are not made of impenetrable emotional steel. They are not so solid that you’ll never begin to pull on a single thread to unravel them.
Think about a plant. If you don’t do the work of giving it water, it will slowly start to get worse. But even before it dies, when you give it some water, within a day or two it’s perked up. It took days and days, a long time, to get so withered it was about to die, but with just a little care and water, within a day it came back and began to show more and more signs of life. Eventually, it started blooming again, and much faster than you initially thought. The more water and dedicated care you give a plant, the more it thrives.
It’s the same with doing your work around urges.
If you don’t do this work, then your urges can compound on themselves and you’ll begin to feel withered and worn down from the fighting. But if you do this work, and you give yourself compassion, curiosity, and steadiness, you will compound your confidence and strength in the other direction and you will have a whole new life, one where urges are the non-issue that they are and you’re free to create and do things that you were telling yourself you couldn’t before because you thought your urges were a weakness. Because you thought that ignoring them or pushing them away, or wishing they didn’t exist or happen to you, were your only options.
Assess your current results
So, the way to get to this point where urges are undone is to assess your current results. Let’s look at weight loss as an equation and your urges are one variable. Work the equation backwards and find the variable that is not making the equation be the result you want. When you have the variable, then you can make deliberate decisions on whether or not you want to change something about it.
A word of caution as you do this. Notice if you’re trying to rush to “fix” the equation. When you’re feeling rushed and impatient, then willpower will easily come in and serve as your source of fuel and motivation, but we know it never lasts. Willpower is not a reliable variable in the equation for permanent weight loss. In movie terms, it’s a supporting character, not a main character.
If you notice that willpower has set in, then that’s OK, but I want you to ask yourself, “Why? Why do I want to rush through this? Why do I want to get back to overeating as soon as the weight is off?”
Nothing is wrong with willpower rushing back in—remember, habits are behavioral tendencies you have. Nothing is wrong, it just means that there is a reason you had to believe that using willpower up until now to lose weight was necessary, and that reason will be incredibly important and useful information for you. That reason will be a thought that created the urgent emotion to use willpower to rush through weight loss, whether it’s one pound or 20.
Like I mentioned earlier in this article, you’ll want to identify what weight loss means to you and why. Doing this will help you see why this work is important to you. Your reasons won’t look like anyone else’s reasons.
For example, if you can’t find any good reasons to stay overweight or continue giving in to urges, then there’s no good reason to keep overeating, right? Putting things into perspective like this will be amazing for you. This will help you with deciding how you want to move forward from here.
A peek into what is possible
How you’re thinking about weight loss today will be different from how you’ve thought about weight loss in the past. So now you need to ask yourself and decide, “Do I want to keep doing this? Do I like the results I can get, and is it worth it to do this work and find the reasons why I was giving in to food to feel better?”
My hope is that these articles have given you a peek through a door into what is possible for you and your body. There’s so much more to find and explore, so you want to ask yourself if you want to do it knowing what’s possible if you walk all the way through.
Remember, your urges are just intense desires, and you can change that. Your current eating habits are not set in stone and you can change them by doing this work. You can change them by applying this work and developing the skill of, not just not giving into urges, but the skill of undoing them so completely that they’re no longer a problem, they’re not an issue anymore, so keeping the weight off will be effortless and you’ll enjoy your life the way you only imagined was possible.
It can be a reality for you.
You have to keep practicing and you’ll get better and better. It’s just like learning how to brush your teeth or riding a bike or driving a car or excelling in a sport. It won’t be easy at the beginning, just like when trying a new exercise and your muscles are quivering. That’s a good sign, actually, when muscles are shaking—it means they aren’t used to the work but you know that with consistency and showing up, they get stronger, they’ll stop shaking, and you can accomplish so much more with your body all from the decision to show up and do the work.
Your brain adapts in the same exact way. You’ll have neural pathways in your brain that aren’t developed quite yet, but the more you practice, the more developed they will get and, in time, they become your new normal. This is the work that is required to transform your life. Not just your body, but your mind and your life.
So, keep using these articles and the tools to help yourself learn and undo habits and, eventually, urges. It is possible and you can do whatever you want. If you haven’t already downloaded it, you can use a great tool I’ve created for you called the Undoing Urges Starter Guide. You can access it here.
You have the option to never do this work again or to revisit it or to keep going. Neither way is right or wrong, but you will get a result either way. You are the only one who gets to decide whether or not to move forward.
I will tell you that this work makes undoing urges 100% possible. You can change your habits and your desires and I believe in your capacity to do so 100%. I have no doubt. It’s not just what I’ve achieved, but what my clients have also achieved. It still takes my breath away how profoundly they have changed from doing this work.
Your work will be to continue this work until the urges lessen in intensity and become the non-issue that they are. The more work you do, the less intense they become, the more you will show up in your life how you truly want to.
And when that happens, you will be closer and closer to your goal and when you get there, you’ll look back and be in shock at what you were able to accomplish and how you were able to do it. Then, any goal you set after that will be so achievable. Because you’ll have undone the urges that were holding you back.
It gives me chills just thinking about the increased capacity you will gain to accomplish your weight loss goals in such a mentally, emotionally, and physically healthy way. I hope you believe in yourself as much as I believe in you.
Living free from urges to overeat IS possible. You CAN live in the body you want and regain the space in your mind that once spiraled incessantly with thoughts about food and weight loss. No matter how many years you’ve been dieting or even how pervasive your overeating or binge eating history has been, this is 100% possible for you. If you’re ready to get started, then let’s talk. You can schedule a free consultation here.